As we become mothers our priorities change. We stop worrying about ourselves and began to figure out every way to make sure our child is raised correctly. If something doesn’t go right in our child’s life we blame ourselves for that failure. No matter how much we try and do everything right, when it goes wrong we still think it’s our fault. It’s as if our hard work goes unnoticed because they say your child reflects you.
Here are some of the areas I believe I fail as a mother.
- My daughter not having her father in her life.
- Working a 9-5, while chasing my dreams, and trying to stay healthy. Meaning I don’t always make time daily for her.
- Afraid of what she might grow up to become. I don’t know what her future holds, but I pray daily that she overcomes the daddy issues and understands mommy’s hustle.
- Not knowing if I’m teaching her the right things.
Being a parent would have you second guessing yourself so much. How do we know if what we are doing is correct? Is the time I’m working on making her life better, should truly be spent with her? When do you feel comfortable about how you raised your child? How do I stop believing it’s my fault that the father isn’t there? Why would us women believe that’s a part of our failure? I know I’m not the only parent that wonders these things.
I learned that this is a mindset. As a mother, you do everything in your power to make sure your children are raised correctly. No matter the circumstances you still go out there and get it. Sometimes you forget to cater to your needs because you are so wrapped up in making sure your children have everything they need and maybe want. We must stop thinking that just because something goes wrong in our child’s life that it’s our fault. We can only control so much in our child’s life so how could we be the blame for everything?
Ways to stop blaming yourself:
- Spending more time with your child.
- Stay involved in their education.
- Cater to the dreams they have at a young age.
- Write letters to your child for every milestone they crossed in life.
- Be mindful of who you bring around your child.
- Take time to listen to your child.
- Give your child attention. So, they want to go out looking for it.
- Watch how you talk to your child and around your child.
- Pray for your child daily.
- Show love to your child.
- Forgive yourself.
These are just some suggestions on how you can show up in your child’s life. I know that sometimes you are tired or need space because your stressed, but don’t allow that energy to shift over to your child. The only way you could truly fail your children is if you aren’t mindful of them, their feelings, installing growth and education, and spending time with them doing things that excite them. Children only want your time. So, with a discipline and love let’s stop blaming ourselves and start showing up.